Laos? Check!

Here are some updates to bring you up to speed:


YVR - Shanghai
I got adopted by the Director of Science and Technology of the Yunnan Province. Pretty big deal. I'm set for life in Asia if all else fails in Canada.

Shanghai
I had 5 hours to kill at the airport here and was pretty excited to get online to watch the finale of this show I missed due to my flight (forget the CASB assignment that was due the following day). But to my utter disappointment, I found out that freaking Megavideo was blocked!!! Along with all social networks - FB, Twitter, youtube... After trying a million websites, I discovered that Perez Hilton wasn't blocked so I got caught up on months of celebrity gossip.

Bangkok
Flew into BKK to take an overnight bus into Nong Khai (northern Thai) to take a bus across the border into Laos. Just my luck, the leader of the red party got shot the day before my arrival so the whole DT protester area was declared a live war zone. FABULOUS. So I decided not to shop in the city and spend 8 lovely hours in the Bangkok airport.

Vientiane, Laos
I decided to take the local bus into Laos, instead of the "VIP" ones that tourists usually take. Because of this, I got befriended by a lovely Laos man who worked in Bangkok and was going back home for a day vacation. Turns out, he used to be an accountant as well and was fluent in whole bunch of languages including French. So obviously, I had to converse with him in French! He pretty much took care of me the whole way until I got into Vientiane, and gave me his card to take me shopping in Bangkok. Oh, and I'm pretty much set in Bangkok too now if Yunnan doesn't work out either. Great to have back up plans A, B and C.

Vientiane... was hot! The moment you step outside, you just start sweating buckets. I spent the day hanging out around town with a New Zealander who was apparently on the run from the Laos police for attempting to throw an illegal party in Luangprabang.

Decided to go for a traditional Laos massage at a spa recommended by Lonely Planet. Half way through the massage, I started wondering if I wandered into one of those "happy ending" type massages accidentally. She was kneading and massaging my bum, and on a few occasions, she was even straddling me!!! Any how, Laos massages are almost chiropractic in nature. She had my body so contorted sometimes and kept laughing whenever my joints cracked. I think I was in more pain post massage...


Vang Vieng, Laos
I FREAKING LOVE IT HERE!!

Highlights:
- Bus ride in from Vientiane: a local guy working for the bus company took it upon himself to start flirting with me to the point that all the locals on the bus turned around to stare at me and smile. Gosh, that was so embarrassing. And of course, all the girls could do was laugh their ass off.
- Had a really drunk Swedish girl make out with me... or more like kiss and slobber all over me!! Went in to give her a kiss goodbye (cheek) and she .... just got too excited.
- LOVE.THE.NIGHTLIFE. All they play is house/electro music...
- Went fire limbo'ing. They should really reconsider having this as a night activity at a bar.. considering all the free drinks we get. 
-Free shots of whiskey at all bars (even the ones along the river) and free buckets before 9!! Can't go wrong
- Met so many Canadians from all over the country!! We were like Team Canada
- Got "Canada says Get Fucked" spray painted on my back. It took days before it came off and the word "fucked" somehow managed to stay on the longest. Fantastic.
- Ziplined into the river. However, I was going so darn fast I couldn't let go in time and hit the stopper at the end at full force and catapulted into some vertical semi flip thing in the air. I think I had most ppl fooled except a Frenchie and the girls I was with. They learned from my mistake and let go way earlier to avoid pulling a "Lisa".
- Swung into the river with Eva. Climbing up those rickety steps was pretty scary in itself.
- Played mud volleyball... and my bathing suit colour has never been the same since. Ugh. 
- Managed to give myself a quail size lump on my shins by banging into these rocks. I further add to this later at the waterfall by scraping up my knees. Bruises, cuts and scrapes are the new accessories to summer dresses this season.
-My near-death experience (sorta): None of the girls would go with me so I ended up going on this poorly designed tiled-slide with this S. African guy. Because I was wearing shorts, I had trouble sliding down the slide since the water pressure was so weak. At his encouragement, I physically pushed myself forward and finally gained momentum, only to come to a complete stop at the bottom of the slide where it plateaus out. The only way down was to throw myself off the slide DIRECTLY on to the rocks and platform below. Luckily, I JUST miss the rocks and ladder to climb back up. I gave another fellow a pretty big scare as I almost landed on him as he was climbing back up. Not only was I super shaken up, my whole abdominal area was in so much pain. I was done for tricks for the rest of the day....
- That night, I was feeling super tired and sore and called it a night earlier. I woke up half an hour later when the girls came back to discover I had caught the flu. My guess would be from all the disgusting whiskey shots I took at the river to calm my nerves (they don't wash them!!). I was feverish for the next couple days.
-....So instead of resting, I didn't want to miss out and went cave trekking with the girls the next day. Bad idea. I only made it through 1/3 caves and had to sit the rest out.On the route back, we had to climb over barbed fences. At one point, when I was super feverish, I managed to fall into a damn ditch. It was like a scene straight out of a movie: one second I'm there, and the next second, all you can spot are a pair of hands waving frantically from the ground. I can look back and laugh now... not then.

Luang prabang
Such a green, but polluted, and pretty city! So many European inspired cafes and old French colonial buildings. It definitely was the most civilized place we've visited thus far. We spent the first day wandering around town and checked out the night market.

Second day, we visited the stunning Kuang Si waterfall. Luckily, we bumped into other tourists that told us of this secret pool area with a gorgeous view. However, to get there, we had to climb up the waterfall. Luckily the rocks weren't slippery as expected and the climb was fairly easy. We were rewarded with a beautiful view and our own private pool of clear blue water. After some time, we made our way back down to another swimming area and took turns swinging off the tree into the pool. All of a sudden, we started feeling something nipping at our feet and legs. Turns out, its the same "Dr. Fish" that I encountered in Cambodia last year - the ones that eat all the dead skin and bacteria off your feet. This is not recommended for those that are ticklish.

We wrapped up the evening by attending an Ethnik Fashion Show showcasing the various traditional outfits of all the different Laos' tribes. However, the evening didn't end on such a great note. We came back to our room to discover that our money had been stolen. The thief was trying to be sneaky and would take only a couple bills instead of everything. In total, I lost about $60 CDN? Its not much, but to put it into perspective for you, $20 USD would have paid for 6 nights accommodation.

Phonsavan - Plain of Jars

A city equally famous for the mysterious Plain of Jars as the number of unexploded ordinances (UXO), such as bombs, landmines, grenades ..etc that still can potential detonate upon impact. Everywhere you look, shops and restaurants have old war relics displayed as decoration.

While we were eating, we noticed a group of children would come by and try to steal left overs before it was cleared away. We ended up pocketing left over bananas to give to them, but there were just too many for us to feed. My heart broke when I saw this little girl in dirty torn clothes wandering the streets with a basket almost the same size as her on her back.Turns out, a lot are orphans because their family members were killed by UXO's, or left to fend for themselves because their parents were addicted to opium.

Pondering the origins of these jars. LOL

The Plain of Jars was sort of anti-climatic. The origins of these huge scattered stone jars are unknown, but are assumed to be associated to prehistoric burial practices. Signs indicated that we had to stay within the white markers, as this was the only area to be cleared of UXO's. The markers were far and few in between, and at times we had to guess where the path was based on if a certain patch of earth looked like it had been treaded on.

We met some interesting company at dinner - a group of Americans that were supposedly part of the Forces and were in town for a special project? One guy let on that they were digging for bones 30 KM outside of town?


That about sums up our adventures in Laos! Only regret was that I didn't have time to volunteer to teach English since the minimum commitment was for a week. :(


P.S. Have you watched Up in the Air? Well, George Clooney is wrong - standing behind Asians while going through luggage check is not the most efficient.