Laos? Check!

Here are some updates to bring you up to speed:


YVR - Shanghai
I got adopted by the Director of Science and Technology of the Yunnan Province. Pretty big deal. I'm set for life in Asia if all else fails in Canada.

Shanghai
I had 5 hours to kill at the airport here and was pretty excited to get online to watch the finale of this show I missed due to my flight (forget the CASB assignment that was due the following day). But to my utter disappointment, I found out that freaking Megavideo was blocked!!! Along with all social networks - FB, Twitter, youtube... After trying a million websites, I discovered that Perez Hilton wasn't blocked so I got caught up on months of celebrity gossip.

Bangkok
Flew into BKK to take an overnight bus into Nong Khai (northern Thai) to take a bus across the border into Laos. Just my luck, the leader of the red party got shot the day before my arrival so the whole DT protester area was declared a live war zone. FABULOUS. So I decided not to shop in the city and spend 8 lovely hours in the Bangkok airport.

Vientiane, Laos
I decided to take the local bus into Laos, instead of the "VIP" ones that tourists usually take. Because of this, I got befriended by a lovely Laos man who worked in Bangkok and was going back home for a day vacation. Turns out, he used to be an accountant as well and was fluent in whole bunch of languages including French. So obviously, I had to converse with him in French! He pretty much took care of me the whole way until I got into Vientiane, and gave me his card to take me shopping in Bangkok. Oh, and I'm pretty much set in Bangkok too now if Yunnan doesn't work out either. Great to have back up plans A, B and C.

Vientiane... was hot! The moment you step outside, you just start sweating buckets. I spent the day hanging out around town with a New Zealander who was apparently on the run from the Laos police for attempting to throw an illegal party in Luangprabang.

Decided to go for a traditional Laos massage at a spa recommended by Lonely Planet. Half way through the massage, I started wondering if I wandered into one of those "happy ending" type massages accidentally. She was kneading and massaging my bum, and on a few occasions, she was even straddling me!!! Any how, Laos massages are almost chiropractic in nature. She had my body so contorted sometimes and kept laughing whenever my joints cracked. I think I was in more pain post massage...


Vang Vieng, Laos
I FREAKING LOVE IT HERE!!

Highlights:
- Bus ride in from Vientiane: a local guy working for the bus company took it upon himself to start flirting with me to the point that all the locals on the bus turned around to stare at me and smile. Gosh, that was so embarrassing. And of course, all the girls could do was laugh their ass off.
- Had a really drunk Swedish girl make out with me... or more like kiss and slobber all over me!! Went in to give her a kiss goodbye (cheek) and she .... just got too excited.
- LOVE.THE.NIGHTLIFE. All they play is house/electro music...
- Went fire limbo'ing. They should really reconsider having this as a night activity at a bar.. considering all the free drinks we get. 
-Free shots of whiskey at all bars (even the ones along the river) and free buckets before 9!! Can't go wrong
- Met so many Canadians from all over the country!! We were like Team Canada
- Got "Canada says Get Fucked" spray painted on my back. It took days before it came off and the word "fucked" somehow managed to stay on the longest. Fantastic.
- Ziplined into the river. However, I was going so darn fast I couldn't let go in time and hit the stopper at the end at full force and catapulted into some vertical semi flip thing in the air. I think I had most ppl fooled except a Frenchie and the girls I was with. They learned from my mistake and let go way earlier to avoid pulling a "Lisa".
- Swung into the river with Eva. Climbing up those rickety steps was pretty scary in itself.
- Played mud volleyball... and my bathing suit colour has never been the same since. Ugh. 
- Managed to give myself a quail size lump on my shins by banging into these rocks. I further add to this later at the waterfall by scraping up my knees. Bruises, cuts and scrapes are the new accessories to summer dresses this season.
-My near-death experience (sorta): None of the girls would go with me so I ended up going on this poorly designed tiled-slide with this S. African guy. Because I was wearing shorts, I had trouble sliding down the slide since the water pressure was so weak. At his encouragement, I physically pushed myself forward and finally gained momentum, only to come to a complete stop at the bottom of the slide where it plateaus out. The only way down was to throw myself off the slide DIRECTLY on to the rocks and platform below. Luckily, I JUST miss the rocks and ladder to climb back up. I gave another fellow a pretty big scare as I almost landed on him as he was climbing back up. Not only was I super shaken up, my whole abdominal area was in so much pain. I was done for tricks for the rest of the day....
- That night, I was feeling super tired and sore and called it a night earlier. I woke up half an hour later when the girls came back to discover I had caught the flu. My guess would be from all the disgusting whiskey shots I took at the river to calm my nerves (they don't wash them!!). I was feverish for the next couple days.
-....So instead of resting, I didn't want to miss out and went cave trekking with the girls the next day. Bad idea. I only made it through 1/3 caves and had to sit the rest out.On the route back, we had to climb over barbed fences. At one point, when I was super feverish, I managed to fall into a damn ditch. It was like a scene straight out of a movie: one second I'm there, and the next second, all you can spot are a pair of hands waving frantically from the ground. I can look back and laugh now... not then.

Luang prabang
Such a green, but polluted, and pretty city! So many European inspired cafes and old French colonial buildings. It definitely was the most civilized place we've visited thus far. We spent the first day wandering around town and checked out the night market.

Second day, we visited the stunning Kuang Si waterfall. Luckily, we bumped into other tourists that told us of this secret pool area with a gorgeous view. However, to get there, we had to climb up the waterfall. Luckily the rocks weren't slippery as expected and the climb was fairly easy. We were rewarded with a beautiful view and our own private pool of clear blue water. After some time, we made our way back down to another swimming area and took turns swinging off the tree into the pool. All of a sudden, we started feeling something nipping at our feet and legs. Turns out, its the same "Dr. Fish" that I encountered in Cambodia last year - the ones that eat all the dead skin and bacteria off your feet. This is not recommended for those that are ticklish.

We wrapped up the evening by attending an Ethnik Fashion Show showcasing the various traditional outfits of all the different Laos' tribes. However, the evening didn't end on such a great note. We came back to our room to discover that our money had been stolen. The thief was trying to be sneaky and would take only a couple bills instead of everything. In total, I lost about $60 CDN? Its not much, but to put it into perspective for you, $20 USD would have paid for 6 nights accommodation.

Phonsavan - Plain of Jars

A city equally famous for the mysterious Plain of Jars as the number of unexploded ordinances (UXO), such as bombs, landmines, grenades ..etc that still can potential detonate upon impact. Everywhere you look, shops and restaurants have old war relics displayed as decoration.

While we were eating, we noticed a group of children would come by and try to steal left overs before it was cleared away. We ended up pocketing left over bananas to give to them, but there were just too many for us to feed. My heart broke when I saw this little girl in dirty torn clothes wandering the streets with a basket almost the same size as her on her back.Turns out, a lot are orphans because their family members were killed by UXO's, or left to fend for themselves because their parents were addicted to opium.

Pondering the origins of these jars. LOL

The Plain of Jars was sort of anti-climatic. The origins of these huge scattered stone jars are unknown, but are assumed to be associated to prehistoric burial practices. Signs indicated that we had to stay within the white markers, as this was the only area to be cleared of UXO's. The markers were far and few in between, and at times we had to guess where the path was based on if a certain patch of earth looked like it had been treaded on.

We met some interesting company at dinner - a group of Americans that were supposedly part of the Forces and were in town for a special project? One guy let on that they were digging for bones 30 KM outside of town?


That about sums up our adventures in Laos! Only regret was that I didn't have time to volunteer to teach English since the minimum commitment was for a week. :(


P.S. Have you watched Up in the Air? Well, George Clooney is wrong - standing behind Asians while going through luggage check is not the most efficient.

Oktoberfest 2008 Finale

Combo of Marica's blog with a bunch of my own edits and insertions.

CHAPTER 3/4: Lichtenstein and Austria
It took 25 minutes to drive through all of Lichtenstein*.
*Lichtenstein is the world's 6th smallest country, largest exporter of dentures and is rich as heck.

CHAPTER 5: Germany
(getting there, finding Oktoberfest, and our first night sleeping in the Punto)

We arrived in Munich (Munchen) after only a little bit of navigational confusion, and accidentally stumbled upon Oktoberfest. It was ridiculous trying to find a parking spot, and Europeans will park ANYWHERE - on the sidewalk, doubled up to a lane of parked cars already...etc. We finally parked... and it was only because the owner of the car in front of us came outside to move his car up for us. (I honestly wonder how long he was watching and laughing at us attempt to squeeze into a spot that was obviously too small for us).

So we decided to scrimp on accommodations (and the fact that there were none left!) and slept in the car. So... imagine 5 of us (2 boys) squeezed into this tiny Fiat Punto - it got cozy REAL fast. The nearby bushes of the apartment we were parked outside became our haven for all things - changing, brushing our teeth... and the rest can be left to your imagination. Unfortunately for my poor fellow travellers, they had to experience my snoring up close and personal! LOL - consider it a rare opportunity =)

Woke up around 9 to Oktoberfesters laughing at us all bundled up in the car. We rallied, had the breakfast of champions (which was composed of nutella, varied fruit, some croissants and 25 cent bread, and 12 cans of beer) . By the time we got to Oktoberfest, there were long lineups to get into all the beer tents so we just went tent hopping and hung out with a randoms at each, while enjoying our 1 L beers, schnitzel (deep fried breaded veal!), sausages, and these massive pretzels! Most disgusting thing I saw: a guy urinating in the middle of the path x 3... and let me tell you, he had nothing to be proud about. After a day of drinking and lugging around our stolen beersteins (there are actually signs that say stealing beersteins is punishable by law), we tried to find our way to the hotel that the rest of our school was staying at. Unknownst to us, their hostel was 2 hours outside the centre of Munich and as we were driving around lost, we get pulled over by the German police. Caitlin rolls the window down and asks what she did wrong. The policeman says “Nothing, we just need to do some checks.” And Caitlin, getting lippy, says, “so you pull people over just cuz?” Luckily, the German policeman doesn’t understand. After finding out we spent the day at Oktoberfest, he asks to do a breathalizer test on Caitlin, and thank GOD she was responsible and stopped drinking early.

Thinking we were in the clear, the police pull up to our right and promptly inform that "the proud display of 7 beersteins we have lined up in the rear window" is considered theft. When Caitlin offered to return the beersteins to the cops, they just told us to hide them better with a "wtf do I want them for?" look on their face.

Chapter 6: Drive home

On the drive home, we decided to make an impromptu stop at Lichtenstein and its capital, Vaduz. After, we were on our way back through Austria trying to interpret our directions backwards since no one thought of printing out the instructions home. Evidently, we got lost.

After getting back on track, we reach the San Bernardino pass to discover a long queue (yes, queue instead of line because that's what Europeans say) was due to an accident on the other side of the tunnel. So we deciding to go UP the mountain instead of waiting and I have to say, as well as Ben handled those sharp turns, I think I nearly crapped my pants at least 5 times on the way up. By the drive was well worth it - the view was amazing 7,000 ft above sea level.

As fun as Oktoberfest was, it was the roadtrip and the path there that really made it memorable - [cue corny music] guess that's the same with one's journey in life.

I think Caitlin summed it up best when she said, " We were good at being accidental tourists."

5 Canadians on the MOST epic roadtrip to Oktoberfest 2008

Disclaimer: This is a fairly long, but absolutely hilarious, group compilation of what happened over the course of our Oktoberfest weekend in Munich, Germany. Any thing in italics is what I have solely revised (y'kno the usual cursing and my own POV) and does not reflect the group's opinion. With that, read on...

CHAPTER 1: Getting out of Milano

The morning started bright an early…for most of us. Caitlin and Zak arrived at Lisa’s door at 830am, and ONLY had to ring the doorbell twice to get Lisa to the door. As Marica approached the door, Caitlin exclaims, “Marica come now, you HAVE to see this, Lisa is down for the count!” Marica hurries up and sees Lisa sprawled on the floor, still clearly drunk from her night out. “I just got home an hour ago… I should go puke now”.

After managing to get Lisa packed and out the door (a 45 minute process) we head to the Duomo via the 15 tram. The tram ride did not go without event. After having bundled Lisa onto a seat with all of her stuff, she promptly fell asleep. About halfway down the tram ride Caitlin, Zak and Marica hear a plaintive cry “Marica…do you still have that bag? I need it...like…now?” So Marica hurries to help Lisa puke into a bag on the tram. We finally get to the Duomo, meet up with Ben and make our way to the Europcar office.

Caitlin and Ben, the two drivers, went inside to deal with licenses and deposits, while Marica, Zak, and Lisa waited outside. After puking in a random garbage bin (third hurl) Lisa fell asleep, to the amusement of every single passer-by. According to Marica, two male employees of Europcar were debating over my slumped-over sleeping form if I was "Cinese o giapponese" for quite some time, until she promptly clarified my origins. After dealing with an obstinate Europcar lady, the 5 troop over to a slightly-larger than expected Fiat Punto, dump their stuff in and ready themselves to go. For all that don't know how a Punto looks like, Google it. It is wayyy too fucking small for all 5 of us to sleep in. First mishap, the car won’t start. Caitlin has to go find an employee of Europcar to wiggle the steering wheel and get the car started. (K, I don't drive standard, or even drive at all, but who would have thought shaking the bloody wheel would start a car?!) Second mishap, getting out of the parking space. 20 minutes after moving the nose of the car slowly into traffic and then finally giving the taxi driver in the other car a look that said. With Lisa passed out in the front seat (to avoid making her even more sick), Marica and Ben took on the task of navigating and trying to direct Caitlin out of Milano.

We were on our way and the adventure begins. For the record, getting out of the city and onto the Autostrade (freeway) took over an hour!

P.S. For the record, my sides hurt so damn much the next couples days from my retching, I thought Caitlin suckered punched BOTH my sides during my sleep due to my snoring. Apparently not - or so she claims.

Part 2: Coming soon when we all recover to write again. Pictures will be posted after I screen them.

CHAPTER 2: Switzerland

We stop in the beautiful town of Paradiso in Lagano, a small town on the water! Zak’s keen eye saw the tracks to a Funicular, a train that goes straight (no turns whatsoever) up the side of a steep mountain. Thanks to Zak’s sheer boredom this summer, (he spent his time and the taxpayers of Smithers, BC’s dollars reading about trains on Wikipedia) we paid our 14euro to take the train up to the top of the mountain. Except Lisa who fell asleep in the train station at the bottom. (Correction: I did not just merely fall asleep! I thought it was in my stomach's best interest to rest and save myself from further humiliation) The reward was a stunning view of the surrounding mountains and the water below. At the top we found an old church and climbed the stairs to the roof. It was a spectacular sight and well worth it!

After a trip to the grocery store we were on our way again. We soon found ourselves driving through the Swiss Alps! Ben was driving and Caitlin had moved to the back. Marica looked out the window and asked “what are those animals?” Caitlin replied “Ooh! Those are Antelopes!” “Wait.Aren't antelopes are Africa, those must be reindeer! they look nothing like the ones I see in Lion King”

We made a pit stop at a gas station before we had to leave Switzerland because gas was cheaper in terms of the Franc. We all took turns using the restroom. Lisa was last to go, and while we were waiting, Marica posted the sign that Caitlin ‘borrowed’ from the Arcobaleno kitchens, “Keep the kitchen clean…turn off the fun!” This apparently confused Lisa because after observing that she had been in the restroom a really long time, Ben noticed a confused looking Lisa in the rearview. She was wandering around the car and parking lot going in circles. When she finally got into the car she said, “Do you know why I was so lost? Because you put that damn sign in the back of the car and I didn’t recognize it anymore!”

La Tomatina - World's Largest Tomato Fight!

This has got to be THE craziest thing I have ever experienced.

Early in the morning, a huge pole, with a piece of ham attached at the top, is coated with pig grease and watered down to make it more slippery. Everyone clambers on top of each other trying to reach the piece of ham, and when the first person grabs it, truckloads of tomatoes are released into the streets. No one was able to get it so at 11 am, the alarm sounds and the tomatoes are still released from the trucks.

As we tried to make our way to the centre of the tomato fight, we were getting totally squished in the crowd. At certain points, I honestly couldn't breathe and started coughing - it was pretty scary. I kept thinking to myself, " Don't fall Lisa, you're going to get trampled". It got even worse as the trucks were trying to make their way out of the crowd and everyone just flattened themselves against the wall. I had to keep running back up to avoid getting killed because the crowds were so dense on both sides with people.

The streets were absolutely disgusting! There was a river of red flowing down the streets, with discarded clothes and shoes everywhere! We weren't even throwing tomatoes anymore; instead, everyone was throwing tomato juice soaked clothes at each other. I had a bloody shoe thrown at me too!! These Spanish guys were trying to rip our t-shirts off because we were still clothed, but we managed to get away.

At one point, I managed to lose one of my flip flops in the river of red but I was so determined to find it that I started shoving people out of the way. Miraculously, I was able to find it among the sea of shoes.

After, when we decided we had enough, we started making the trek back to the train. To clean off, we were getting hosed/water dumped on us from locals living in the apartments above. I discovered tomato bits in places where food should NEVER be! It was super hard to get it out of my hair and my clothes were pretty much stained so I threw them away. Also, the train staff won't let you on the train if you were too dirty, or for the guys, if you were shirtless. So in the train line up, there were so many guys wearing girl's t-shirts/tanks that were way too small for them, in order to get on the train.

+ more pics if Anne's sketchy one-year expired waterproof cam develops

Montreal Recap

Montreal Recap:

- My room looks like a small jail cell... does not match the pictures online AT ALL. I swear I learned in Commercial Law that it's illegal to falsely advertise stuff.

Guess which one's mine?

- I will NEVER complain about Vancouver again. Montreal is TRES CHER = EXPENSIVE. A dynamite roll was $9.95 which is considered to be cheap by a Quebecois. Groceries are soo much more over here as well.

- the many random 10 minute thundershowers that will drench you to the bone - and they say that Vancouver is a rainy city.

+ Made some awesome new friends there that I have learned so much from... especially the necessities in life like cooking, grocery shopping, laundry... etc. (Yes, lame that I never knew how before)



+ Tres beau garcons avec l'accents had me at bonjour.

Memorable Moments:

- eating in the pitch dark at O'Noir while being served by blind servers
- shopping!! Everything seems to be on sale, and even if it wasn't the owner of the store still gave me a discount!!
- partying with Jenna Jameson's manager and bodyguard at Tribe Hyperclub
- watching Jimmy Fallon live at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival
- watching the male model underwear search and meeting the model that was the face of JPG
- Mado's drag show and ladies' night at the gay strip club! That community is just so fun and they know how to enjoy life.
- poutines galore!!
- randomly joining in with a group of retirees dancing by the lake. The old men beside us kept watching our footwork because they couldn't learn the dance - it was so cute!
- the shirtless black guy that roamed my hall!!
- dancing to live Italian music at a cute restaurant in Little Italy, only to be joined by a 89 year old grandpa from Europe and his brother who was not much younger.


Lesson learned:

Never be one of the last ones to leave within your close group of friends. It is the worst feeling in the world to feel alone and deserted.

Inside the Notre Dame cathedral